“This is 911. What is the nature of your emergency?”
“I think I saw a robbery at a 7-Eleven. It was really hard to tell. I was driving by and...”
“Is the incident in progress now?”
“No. There was a big tall woman, I’m pretty sure, but she had a beard.”
“Why did you think it was a woman?”
“She was wearing a skirt and panty hose. Really tall, long legs, wig, black purse. She needs a shave.”
“Did you see her carrying a gun?”
“I think so, but it might have been in the purse.”
“Where did this take place?”
“Just now. Like, just a minute ago. My hands are shaking. The robber is driving a brown car and you can tell it’s the car because the panty hose is flying out the door.”
“Where is the 7-Eleven.”
“Oh, man, he’s back. I can’t believe it. Hurry up and send the police. Oh, I see her or I mean him. He’s running in these black pumps and...”
“Is there a gun, ma’am?”
“I don’t see one, but this has to be a guy in drag. I’m telling you.”
“Where are you calling from?”
“Across the street. Hurry!”
******************************************************************************
“Can I...? What do you want, mister?”
“Shut up. Gimme the cash in the drawer. Just shut up. Move it!”
“Don’t shoot. I got kids at home. That’s it. No more here today. Go away. You're very ugly in that wig.”
“Down on the floor. Now!”
“Okay! Okay! I’m innocent!”
“Adios, bitch. I’m outta here.”
“Hello, boss? Oh my god, you should see what happened down here. You gotta come now, come here. I got robbed by a big ugly man dressed like woman. Yeah, big wig, lipstick, beard. Yeah! Even wearing a skirt and panty hose. I saw him. He took off. I’m okay. I gotta call the police. I’m okay, but all shaking all over. I can’t believe it. I want outta here. No more for me. That’s it. I’m going to have nightmare forever. This is very bad luck for me. He might know me now, come after me. He got the petty cash in the drawer. He had a gun. I think I pissed myself. Man very, very ugly. Really tall man with beard. Yeah, I call the cops now. No, just money. Oh, oh! He is coming back!
I have to run away now!”
**********************************************************************************
“I didn’t think he’d really do it. Yeah, he’s a freak all right. I told him Thursdays people buy the lottery tickets and that 7-Eleven gets a lot of cash. He went for it. No, never before. He’s so freaking ugly, and he put on women’s clothes, man. Yeah! Panty hose, wig, lipstick, the whole nine yards. Guy’s a freak, man, no brains at all. Took his girlfriend’s stuff and put it on and went out after he’d had a few. Broad daylight. Cops caught him, got him down at the jail. Thought he could fool someone? No way. Not with all that hair sticking through the panty hose, man. Ugliest thing. Yeah, he’s about 6’5” or so. Black skirt, all done up. I can just see the look on that Korean lady’s face at the 7-Eleven. She’s, like, five feet tall, lookin’ up at this hairy freak. Yeah, black beard, dude. Lipstick and a wig his girlfriend had. He wanted the money I guess. Did he think it was a joke or something? Man, you do not go waving a gun at a crazy Korean lady and get away with it, not dressed like a freak.”
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