What next?

Hide the children, lock the doors, kneel in front of your santos and stay away from sharp objects.  This has been one weird week, and I don't know when it's going to finally go away.  Astrologers out there, what do you make of it?

First, my neighbor's water heater lost its 50 gallons of water all over her garage floor and then ours.  Rugs got sopped and boxes soggy.  So far, mildew and mold are being kept at bay, but what a mess.  That was bad, definitely worse for my neighbor.  We are stashing our things back into place and getting rid of others, offering help and sympathy to her when she needs it.

Then I heard about two young kayakers - my daughter and her boyfriend, both usually attentive to detail and very responsible - whose kayak, with them in it flipped over.  They thought it was fun until they realized they'd both lost their prized Oakley sunglasses.  Down, down, down the glasses sank into the briny deep never to be seen again.  Davey Jones probably looks pretty sporty now.  Ciao $250.  They looked pretty cool and gave excellent eye protection, but cheap Chinese knockoffs will have to suffice.

Next, on a little hike yesterday, my husband waded across a shallow river and forgot that his iPhone was in the pocket of his hiking shorts.  Later, when he remembered, he took a look and saw that it looked far too soggy to use.  He tried talking to it sweetly, shaking it out, putting it in his driest (and much higher) pocket.  Later at home, he used a hairdryer on it.  No good.  It's submerged in dry white rice right now, but since he literally uses it constantly he had to buy a new one.  Good-bye $200.

Preparing for work and trying to download the newest version of iTunes to sync the iPhone, he misplaced his Kindle.  Uh oh.  He uses it more than the iPhone, and that's a lot.  I am pretty sure no one else in the world reads more books on their Kindle than he does.  We searched everywhere.  In cupboards, trash cans, closets, drawers.  Even the refrigerator.  Well, you never know, could happen, right?  Finally, after nearly resorting to emptying the house of all its contents, I found the Kindle in a deep recess of the sofa, the perfect place for it to creep away and hide quietly.  No loss, but lots of angst and frustration at the end of the day.

But wait, there's more...

Today, after buying a new parking pass for the local community college campus where I swim, I walked back to my car and found a parking ticket.  No cop for miles.  Hey, I'm thinking, this is getting to be a pattern.  True, these are not major events.  It was $25.  This is not life or death, but it's starting to feel like I'd better check planets in retrograde and maybe pay more attention to minor saints.

Yet, there was actually an added bonus weird event just a little while ago.  As I was sitting here at my writing table, I heard an ominous crunching thump down on the street.  I dashed outside and saw a Toyota Camry pulling away slowly down the street.  I ran back in after memorizing the license plate, called the police, and then went out to assess damages.  My poor neighbor's garage door was bent, crunched, unable to open anymore.  It's still on its hinges, but it looks pretty decrepit. We live on a very narrow street, too narrow for any but the most compact of cars to consider turning around on.  Why would someone think turning around in a big long sedan would be okay there?

The perpetrator came walking back, hollering and carrying on about her flip-flop getting stuck on the gas pedal and how her husband was going to shoot her and was this going to go on her driving record.  At least she came back, even if she wasn't the brightest light on the porch.  She didn't know what to do, said she'd been told not to drive with flip-flops on.  I started thinking about writing a letter to the DMV to suggest they set the bar just a teeny bit higher for individuals who might not really be all that safe driving in our midst.  She lit up a cigarette and was talking loudly mostly to herself about her illnesses, her driving record, her husband who wants to divorce her, and more about her driving record.  She was ecstatic when the nice polite police officer who'd arrived by then informed her that this wasn't going to be reported to the DMV.

What next?  I don't want to know.  I was going to light candles, but now I'm thinking something might set itself on fire, so I'll just imagine them lit.  Will tomorrow be better?  Pray for us all, and hope it isn't catching.