Say Hello

Uh oh, here comes Valentines Day.

I know, the day when cupid shoots his little arrows into the hearts of lovers.  Or something.  Hearts, roses, lace, chocolate, valentines.  All that.  Isn't it for the people who already know they love each other?

What about everyone who isn't sure?

I am not a fan of big loaded-expectation days for this reason:  They are exclusive more than they are inclusive.  I do believe this particular day results in far more people feeling saddened and lonely than loved and adored.  I wonder if anyone has done a survey to see if there is a majority or minority who are happy on Valentines Day.  My guess is it's a minority.  We are all so set up by the commercialism of it that it's virtually guaranteed that you will be disappointed.  Especially if you are a teen or very young adult.  Physical attraction and emotional intensity are so tied to self-worth that if they are missing, happiness goes right down the toilet.

Valentine's Day is delightful for the people who are within immediate range of embracing arms and puckered lips.  I'd like to think more in terms of paying love forward on Valentine's Day, of surprising people around me with a quick expression of unconditional warm regard.  I'm thinking of a National Say Hello to People Around You Day.

If I were Queen of the Universe, I'd ban the day and advise hugs and handshakes.  Kisses would be okay, of course, but I think a National Say Hello Day would be much more realistic and far less likely to be a minefield of loneliness and depression than Valentine's Day is.  Most of my patients are sick because they're lonely when you get to the root of it all.  

A few years ago Sick Puppies put out a music video showing a man with a sign saying Free Hugs.  He waved to passers-by in a mall, offering hugs.  At first, the potentially hugged were skeptical and turned away, but some overcame inhibition and fear and took him up on it.  How odd to be accepted and regarded as friendly, you know?

Consider hugging someone tomorrow instead of feeling left out of the Valentine's Day push to go commercial.  Hug - or at least say hello - someone who's an acquaintance or you see occasionally but usually keep a distance from for no good reason.  Muster up your courage and give them a quick hug.  Let love go.  Just let it go then see how you feel.  One little squeeze for a plain ol' person.

My guess is the gloom will be a little less intense.  You'll feel a bit more that possibility exists in the world and that you are actually the solution to your own problems.  Love does that.