Seagulls on a spring day

I rounded the Coast Guard curve going west at midday today and got a whiff of kelp and salt air. Sure signs of Pacific Grove ahead. It's another above-normal hot day today, but better than we get in the fall when the summer finally arrives. Yes, summer is in the fall here. More in another post about our hiccupping seasons on the central coast.

I drove like a tourist, which is to say I drove like my steering wheel had suddenly loosened up and barely controlled the car. I rather enjoyed it actually, but I know where the cops hide, so I behaved myself when it mattered most.

The tide was very low and the surge nonexistent. Kelp and sea grass lay like old mops draped by a housekeepers who'd walked off to put their feet up in the shade. Close in where there are sandy patches visible between submerged rocks, the water looked deceptively inviting. It's 52 degrees - too damned cold to enjoy without lots of screaming and gasping. Surfers wear 3-4 mm thick wetsuits when they are out riding the waves to fend off hypothermia.

So, I parked along Ocean View past Lovers of Jesus Point, which is the old original name of Lovers Point. The park there is very popular with young families and visitors on weekends. Back 100 years ago or so, a thoughtful resident set off a few dynamite explosions and blasted out a very fine little beach area there, just like that, thank you very much. He lined the gaping cliffs with rocks left over from the blasting and built a cement pier or breakwater where events are staged now. I'll bet if I wanted to go blast out another nice little spot for us all... Well, it's not possible. We are very environmentally astute now and have a huge Marine Sanctuary to protect and preserve. No more blasting will be done in our little town anymore.

I walked around and admired the scenery - fabulously colorful and eye catching, sailboats darted back and forth and the local sea otters and harbor seals entertained delighted tourists. Two ladies ran down to the rocks from their parked car, leaving it running and its lights on. One seal was flopped on his side on the most uncomfortable-looking pile of rocks you could imagine, and he was slapping his side with his flipper like he was laughing at a really good joke. The ladies were yelling at each other in high voices, "Look! He's right there!" over and over, point blank in each other's ears. I toyed with the idea of just driving off in their car, but no, it would have just added more points to my DMV record, and they looked too much like happy ladies from Kansas to mess with anyway. Instead, I left them and drove further west to Pt Pinos past the golf course where golfers were giving new meaning to the word "hack." Wow, you shoulda seen those swings.

It's a little-known fact that the local chamber of commerce hires sea otters to swim idely around and whack rocks against their chests and look picturesque. Harbor seals and sea lions also are on the payroll. Seagulls just aim shit at your car with tremendous accuracy and fly off, laughing mockingly.

A friend of mine who has three upstairs dormer windows in her beautiful 100-year-old home was strafed by seagulls rather dramatically a few years ago. They flew by in formation and sent guano in massive gooey amounts not only through the open dormer windows with dazzling accuracy but hit the wall opposite them with a resounding smack. She can swear pretty well, let me tell you.

Stand at the corner of Forest Avenue and Laurel Street where the city hall building is in Pacific Grove and look up. The building roofs are white with guano and scheming gulls. The intersection is riddled with white splats and the odor on summer days can be a little pungeant. But, we love our wildlife here. They add atmosphere and local color to our town, and that's what really keeps us here.

No gulls were harmed in the gathering of the facts of this story. Not today anyway.