In the middle of the night I am up with my computer on my lap. I can't sleep. I haven't written here for months now, but I've considered sitting down with this quite a few times. Disciplined writers work at it day after day and get through blocks with persistence and fortitude. I suppose I am not such a writer. I have been painting instead and changing - not just the color of the rooms of my home - but myself. Change is constant, as you know, but sometimes the eventfulness of the change is pretty consuming, and that's what I have noticed since I wrote last. Continual change. The way I see people, what matters to me, how people affect me. More important than me - my opinion, my self-orientation - is the way the world works out problems, how equilibrium plays out in real time. You know, the dynamic steady state. A little of this and a little of that - balancing each other out, playing off each other. Chinese call it the yin and yang of existence. I think about that. A lot. I see it everywhere.
On the other hand, we have blogging. I guess that what I want to do, and what blogging is, are two different things. Blogging is: "I went to the store today and saw the new shop that has just opened up. I went in and bought a cute little doodad and wow was that cool." Or it could be: "I am a specialist in the field of political punditry and my opinion is very important. You should pay attention to all I have to say each and every day."
Realizing that it is 2:57 AM, I am not unblogging. Instead, I am certainly uncertain about which direction to go with writing. I write because I think. Better than that would be: I think because I write, which is true. But, if logic applies: If I don't write, I don't think. I'm lost and I don't think it matters right now. I'll straighten it all out later.
It's nearly Christmas 2009, the nighttime world is asleep.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
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2 comments:
writing is a tool you use to organize and analyze your thoughts. Reading your writing is a tool we use to stimulate new thoughts and branch off from your ideas. Those day by day changes are always going on for all of us and the result may or may not require the writing tool to organize, analyze or express those thoughts. So if you're having a block after months of writing, don't sweat it. After all we are on a spinning floating rock that is moving through the universe at god knows how fast. Even if you stand still your whole life, you're never in the same spot. Who thought this up?
You did, or so we say. Thoughts and ideas could be the footprints of electrons, quarks and dibbets. And they change us constantly.
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